Providence Rules
by Augusta
Summary: Challenge fic.  Rex makes the rule board at work.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own GenRex. So sad.

Summary: Gang Members, Penguins, Watermelons, Gall Bladder, Beer.

Standard rules apply to this challenge. The words/phrases must be utilized in some fashion in your story. The universe and character set are entirely dependent on the author/authoress. Your ficlet can be no longer than three front to back hand written pages. We encourage finding friends to proof read (beta) your story before submission. We aren't talking a professional critique. Just a grammar and coherency check. Joint stories are also accepted under the same guidelines.

**Providence Rules**

Like most things it had started when Rex got bored…which happened a lot.

One day while refilling his coffee supply from the commissary's store room Callan noticed a crisp white sheet of paper stuck to the communal message board. Usually the grunts and scientists used it to pass notes like they were in high school and didn't know how to use their Providence e-mail accounts. But this was an official in-house memo. That was strange.

To All Providence Personnel:

To save both you and myself a lot of trouble and headache I have compiled a list of simple rules to help make life easier for all involved. These addenda haven't officially been added to the Providence handbook, but it should be known that violation of any of the below rules will result in severe punishment.

White Knight

Callan whistle low. To make it on to the message board in an official memo from White, someone must have gotten in serious trouble. He read on.

**1) Alcohol is no longer allowed within 100 yards of Providence premises.**

_It had started with bored, armed Providence grunts out in the desert with a case of beer launching watermelons with a Punkin' Chunker and trying to shoot them down like a redneck version of trap shooting. Add Rex and Noah to the mix and a Slam Cannon sized hole in the side of Providence was the result._

**2) on't lie to Dr. Holiday.**

**a) She has access to big, pointy needles.**

_During a routine patch job after a fight with BioWolf Six had barfed on the good Doctor. When she asked what was wrong he denied everything and made a beeline for the door. The last thing he remembered was a sharp pinch in his neck._

_The next time he opened his eyes he was on his back in the infirmary wearing a drafty hospital gown with a few new scars. Dr. Holiday handed him a specimen jar full of nickel-sized stones and then promptly told him she'd had to remove his gallbladder and that if she had to remove anymore organs because he wouldn't admit he was in pain she would make sure he was in SERIOUS pain._

**3) Don't laugh at EVO's.**

**a) It only pisses them off.**

**b) Goofy and stupid looking doesn't mean they're not dangerous.**

_Gang members had cornered Rex in a dead-end alley. When he pulled out his Smack Hands they went EVO. He laughed so hard he was crying. The cute fluffy penguins didn't take to kindly to this. Rex was then crying in pain as the jumped on him and beat him mercilessly with their cute little flippers._


	2. Chapter 2

_Summary: Underwear, the IRS, Michelle Pfeiffer, Dating, and Local Police. Standard rules apply to this challenge. The words/phrases must be utilized in some fashion in your story. The universe and character set are entirely dependent on the author/authoress. Your ficlet can be no longer than three front to back hand written pages. We encourage finding friends to proof read (beta) your story before submission. We aren't talking a professional critique. Just a grammar and coherency check. Joint stories are also accepted under the same guidelines._

**2**

After her ten-mile morning run Ensign Kenwyn jogged spritely into the Providence commissary for a bottle of water. Her eyes glanced routinely over the message board and stopped on a new piece of paper taped below White Knight's official memo.

As she scanned the contents she had to laugh. Ever since Agent Six had lost the last six years of his life here at Providence he was almost as much of a nuisance as Rex.

**4) All receipts must be turned into accounting for approval before filing.**

**a) Personal items should be bought with staff salary not Providence grant money**

**b) Even though we save the world we still have to get auditted people**

_Accounting didn't think it was funny when Six turned in a receipt for condoms and lubricant from the local drug store. When White Knight called them into a conference to talk about 'in-house fraternization' a resounding slap was heard throughout the base. The good doctor and the amnesiac agent left a moment later with a very pissed look on her face and a bright red handprint on his while he tried to redeem himself to her._

**5) Google is not the cure for amnesia**

_Curious to find out about the last six years suddenly missing from his life Agent Six constantly questioned Rex and Bobo. Not really knowing much the monkey and EVO decided to Google the ex-mercenary. A few hours later all three sat in awe in the Command Center. Articles about Michelle Pfeiffer, Sandra Bullock, Scarlett Johannsen, and Shania Twain dating a mysterious man in green filled the screens._

_Doctor Holiday walked in on Rex crawling on his knees behind the befuddled agent pleading with him to teach him how to 'bag all the babes.'_

**6) Local police request that hence forth Agent Six and Captain Callan are not allowed off-base after hours.**

**a) Especially at the same time.**

_Callan found he liked the new cocky Six. One boring Friday night found them at a seedy strip club with the weeks wages in singles. Too many drinks in and they thought it would be a great idea for Six to use his Magna Blades to slice the exotic dancers underwear off and Callan would steal them._

_The boys in blue chased them around town for three hours – their pockets filled with g-strings – until Rex dropped from the sky and slammed their heads together. Dr. Holiday had to do some fast talking to keep them out of jail even though Knight was more than happy to hand the deliquent drunks over._


End file.
